Progress

Miranda rang yesterday. It turns out that she needs a Spanish CRB check for me, which she hadn’t mentioned until now. Considering that a few weeks ago we were supposed to be going to panel tomorrow, it seems quite an oversight, but maybe they don’t assess that many foreigners at our local authority. She gave me some instructions that she’s looked up on the Criminal Bureau Records website, and I’ve been in touch with the Spanish consulate to find out more. As it happens I will be in Spain next week, so I hope to be able to get it while I’m there. Also, their medical adviser has returned our medical reports and they are fine. Well, fine-ish. There aren’t any major issues, but Glen’s body mass index is over 30, so they have suggested that he loses some weight. Glen is not impressed, but has promised to do something about it.

Miranda also said that she had some more questions for us, but given the weather conditions she would just email them over rather than come over. They deal once again with Glen’s mum and dad, and there are some follow-up questions on the personalities of the children we might want to be matched with. She also asks about whether we’ve even been bullied because of our sexuality, and how we would deal with any bullying that a child matched with us might suffer because of having gay dads. I wonder if the latter has been prompted by recent media coverage of gay adoption...

In any case, we have set up a meeting in just under three weeks to discuss our home study report (so we assume we’ll receive it before then). It looks like things are moving on again!

“Wicked” medicals

We had our medicals last Wednesday. They took about 30 minutes for each of us. We were asked to do a urine sample first of all, and then I went it to see my GP. The first thing she said was how ridiculous it as that we had to go through a medical to adopt, when other people “can just pop them out”. She was very nice, went through the entire form with me showing me what she had written with regards to my medical history and then did the actual tests: measurements of height, weight, blood pressure, listened to my lungs and heart, and checked reflexes. By the time I got out Glen had already finished his. We paid (£73.86 each) and the secretary asked us if the medicals were for an adoption. We replied that they were and she just said “wicked!”. This may sound a bit ridiculous but her saying that really cheered me up. We have told many of our friends and relatives and had great responses, and obviously we have met other adopters and prospective adopters, gay and straight, but this was the first time we told someone we didn’t know at all and her reaction was just so positive and at the same time so cool (i.e. she didn’t overreact either way) that it was really nice to see it. It’s always been a concern for me to think of situations (going into shops for example) where it will be obvious that the two of us are the parents of any child(ren) we may be placed with, and how people will react. I realise it won’t be like this everywhere, but for a first reaction it was really good.

Medical appointments

Just as I was getting worried that we wouldn’t be able to get appointments with our respective GPs before January and therefore concerned about whether that would delay our panel date, they rang us from the surgery yesterday to offer us appointments next week. Yay! I’ve never been so excited about getting a doctor’s appointment in my life. How sad. : )

Medicals, volunteering and NFS get-together

On Friday Glen and I filled in the forms to have our medicals done. We have read about people getting a bit worried about their medicals and indeed as I filled it in I kept wondering if anything in there would not be to the liking of the medical advisor. I think it’s unlikely, but of course it’s natural to wonder. I took the forms to our surgery and it turns out that one of their secretaries is on leave and the other off sick, so who knows when they’ll actually do anything with our forms. They really need to be done by January, so let’s hope there aren’t any delays. I do think it’s a bit strange that our local authority leave the medicals until so late. On the one hand I understand they don’t want you to spend the money (£73.86 each) until they are sure that they want to take you to panel, but on the other hand it leaves little room in case of delays. I know other local authorities ask prospective adopters to get them done earlier on in the process.

Also on Friday I went to the school where we volunteer and I was asked to help out with Class 3 (where the kids are either just 3 or still 2 coming up to 3). It was great to have the opportunity to work with younger children as I am usually with the 4 or 5-year-olds. I played games and read stories to them and worked mostly with J, who has CHARGE Syndrome. His face is somewhat deformed, he can’t walk or stand that well unaided, has a hearing aid and has to wear a bib as he drools constantly. His speech is quite hard to understand, but he is so lovely and so bright. It’s misleading, because when you first see him you feel pity for him and assume (mostly because of his facial deformity) that he will not be fully developing cognitively, but he is really on the ball, and clever. I really enjoyed spending time with him, but I have to admit that I wouldn’t want to care for him 24/7. In that sense, the fact that adoptive parents can (to a certain extent) choose what physical limitations they are prepared to cope with is really an advantage, as I’m sure J’s parents did not intend to bring up a child with CHARGE Syndrome.

Yesterday we went to the New Family Social gathering. It was a bit of a Christmas do as well and the kids and parents seemed to have a good time. We caught up with some of the people we had met last time we went, people whose messages we have read online, and also the couple that we visited last month. We also met another couple of guys who have adopted, live near us, and were really nice, which was great. Once again we came out of the meeting feeling really inspired by all these people who have successfully adopted and are getting on with their lives. It’s a really welcome shot of optimism about the process.

Had a call from one of our friends whom we named as a referee. Miranda is going to visit them this afternoon! Fingers crossed that all will go well.