Back from holiday

We’re back from our holiday. We had a lovely time off and managed to relax and switch off for a whole two weeks, which doesn’t happen often! Well, we did talk about the adoption a few times, and even wondered if this may have been our last holiday on our own for many years to come.

We were supposed to receive the report from the second opinion interview before we left but it never arrived on time, so we had to find an internet cafe while we were away, which we eventually did 4 days into our holiday. The report was quite positive overall, although once again it mentioned Glen’s relationship with his dad. We just don’t know any more if this will turn out to be nothing at all or our stumbling block, but as there is nothing more we can do about it, we’ll just have to wait and see. If there are any questions about it at panel we will try to explain as best as we can.

I mentioned before we went away that Miranda had decided to do one more reference interview with a friend of ours. She realised that all the interviews she’d done were with people who do not live in the same place as we do, so she arranged this one with a friend who lives really close by. I had a text from our friend while we were away saying that the interview went well, but I haven’t had a chance to talk to her yet.

We also had an email from Miranda to say that she is having the operation she’d delayed so she could complete our report, so she is actually on sick leave right now and won’t be back to work until 3 days before panel. Hopefully all will be well, she’ll recover in time, and there won’t be any further delays to our panel date!

Second opinion interview

Miranda and the second opinion social worker came over and did the second opinion interview. This other social worker was actually one of the two who did our initial interview back in January last year, but we hadn’t seen her since then. She was funny, warm, positive, caring and very clear. She asked us some questions starting with Glen’s relationship with his father, which we had to explain for the umpteenth time, and then asked about the number and gender of children we are hoping for. She talked about the uncertainties that surround many of the children in the care system. We also discussed prejudices, the process in general, and contact. They were the kinds of questions that she expects panel may ask us. Both she and Miranda seem quite positive about us being approved, but she said that if we do get approved then we should get ready for a long wait given that in social workers’ minds gay couples are near the bottom of the pecking order after heterosexual couples and single women.

The interview lasted just over an hour and a quarter and after they had gone we felt completely exhausted and unsure about how to feel about the end of the assessment process. It feels like it’s suddenly all very real and for the first time we’re allowing ourselves to believe that we may actually get approved. I think we’ve been refusing to get our hopes up expecting a hurdle that we wouldn’t be able to overcome. And now the assessment process is over and all that’s left is to see whether panel agree with the local authority assessment.

It’s a month until we go to panel and the work is done, so all we can do is wait. In the meantime we’re going on holiday for two weeks, so I don’t think there’ll be any updates in that time. We’re completely exhausted and really looking forward to going away. When we were planning it we kept thinking this may be our last major holiday before we adopt, but given the comment we heard today about getting ready to wait a long time, it may not be so. In any case we’re going to switch off from the whole process and enjoy our time off together.

Final interview dates

I’ve been back in the UK for a week, but we took a few days off straight after I got back from Spain and I’ve not been on my PC for five whole days. It was nice to be off together, even if it was in the UK and in cold weather. There were kids off on half-term everywhere, and all of the places we visited had activities for kids, which made us realise that we could have done pretty much the same stuff we’ve done if we had kids with us.

Speaking of doing things with kids, Glen went to the local fire station with the Beavers last week. Yes, I asked and no, there were no cute firemen in uniform.

Miranda rang once more to ask Glen some questions about his family tree and we’ve now got dates for our final interview with her to go through her report: Monday afternoon! She was hoping to post it so we could read it beforehand, but if not we will have to read it and comment on the spot, which I’m not so keen on as I’d prefer to have time to digest the report. It may arrive tomorrow or Monday Morning, but based on past performance we’re thinking it won’t. Then on Wednesday we will have our second opinion interview with another social worker from the local authority. And then... that’ll be it! Panel next. It’s very exciting.

A date for the second opinion interview

Miranda rang earlier today. She and her colleague, who will be doing the second opinion interview, will come on the 19th. The plan is for Miranda to send us our home study report next Friday so we can read it over the weekend and feed back to her when they come to do the second opinion visit on Monday. Her colleague will then write her report on Monday evening or Tuesday morning so that it’s all ready. One possible delay could be that once the report is finished and before it goes to the panel members it has to be read by Miranda’s supervisor. If she has any requests for major changes or wants further evidence of anything then it probably won’t be done in time for us to go to panel in February. It all feels a bit rushed and we hope that doesn’t have a negative effect on the outcome, but after so many months it’s very exciting that the home study is finally coming to an end and we could be going to panel in a month’s time!